Banstead Woods is just that – some woods with walkways. There’s no facilities, and I’d have thought not the most buggy-friendly of places – but we did see someone with a double Phil & Teds having a roam around – so maybe it’s down to the type of buggy (ie, good on hills).
The woods themselves are a place we’ll keep coming back to – there are glorious bluebells in the woods at the right time of year, and there are plenty of walks to wander around.
We could only find one car park on Holly Lane. It’s a lovely walk, you’ll spend at least an hour there. Throughout the woods are log dens – perfect for hunting for Gruffalo….
Banstead Woods is a fun place. There are no facilities so plan for toilets, food and drink before you leave. Parking is free and entry to the woods is also free.
I’d dress well with waterproofs and wellies for rainy days – even on dry days the walkways can get pretty boggy.
We’ve had a My Buggy Buddy Lock for a while now – I was lucky enough to win one when Hippychick did a competition – and we’ve used it a lot.
The My Buggy Buddy Lock came about as a way to lock your buggy – using a security code you assign yourself – but it can also double up as a bag clip.
This is also where we had our first problem – I forgot my code! After searching around the internet to see if there was a way to re-set the lock, I found a phone number for Paul from My Buggy Buddy – one of the owners. (actually, they’re both called Paul, and have proper jobs as well as making all these excellent things)
Ends up, this isn’t a problem at all – My Buggy Buddy has an amazing lifetime guarantee – and they’ll happily replace it for you!
As luck would have it, our lock was just a bit stiff, and after some careful pulling, it opened – but I thought with such an excellent guarantee it needed to be shared.
I thought I wasn’t a handbag kind of girl, I really did. However, I’m also not twenty five any more, and carting around a record bag for my daily needs Does Not Always Work.
I’ve been on the lookout for a new bag – the old Boots freebie one served it’s purpose up until H was toilet trained (touch wood…), so a new bag was needed – we didn’t need two (ie, one with my things and one with H’s) – but I hadn’t found a bag which fitted the bill…
Then there was The Baby Show. I went with Rachel, and let me tell you, Rachel is a lady of many bags – many many bags. She’s going to be the Mum Friendly official bag lady (argh, how else to word it!) and will be sharing what she knows very soon. She persuaded me I needed to have a good look at the Mia Tui ‘Grace’ bag – but also there was a fabulous deal to get an ‘Amelie’ bag for free with it.
You know what? It’s a handbag, but it’s right up my street. I like how it’s described as Mia Tui’s own messenger bag, and that’s what drew me to it – but then – ohh then – inside – the space! Now from the outside this bag looks like a regular one, but inside you’ve space for a bottle, you’ve space for wipes, I can fit a spare change of clothes for H in there, snacks – oh and some of my things too – and it’s perfect, completely and utterly perfect. Obviously I bought one there and then – and I’ve been using it since.
The Amelie bag is something altogether more great (oh my, the space), and something I’ll let Rachel write about when she gets a chance – but right now I wanted to share some Mia Tui love. I’ve signed up to the Mia Tui loyalty scheme – which means as a recommended friend of Mum Friendly, you’ll get a 10% discount from your first order.
Shall I gush a little more about the Grace bag? Well, as you may be aware we’re toilet training – and the bag comes with a set of charms on the side of it. Several times now I’ve gone to the loo with H, and she’s done that old favourite of trying to open the cubicle door when I’m doing my business – the charms are a fantastic distraction! So while it’s purpose was never meant to be that, it’s spared my dignity, and for that I love it even more.
There’s an elasticated strap inside – I’ve used it to fasten my purse in there (a Mia Tui one, of course!) so it’s always easy to get to – though you can use it for keys – anything like that really. You also get a changing mat and a clear PVC bag for baby bits. Oh, and there’s also a co-ordinating clutch for personal items. Seriously, it’s great – it’s got everything you’d want and even more – and given my history with back troubles, I can pack enough and it’s barely heavy on my back!
Oh, and did I mention, it’s waterproof inside and out?
Read about Charlotte and how she started the company – and what’s more the bags are made in good working conditions which Charlotte has overseen.
We love Mia Tui! Do I need to convince you more? Do I need to send Rachel your way?
Way back in February (which feels like a lifetime ago), we were lucky to get to a Teddy Bears Picnic at Foyles in Shepherds Bush, where H’s favourite bear Fudgy would be making an appearance.
Fudgy Bear was created by Sarah Marley, a mother of one, back in April 2011. There’s five different Fudgy Bear books available direct from Fudgy’s website, as well as a toy which – importantly – is suitable from birth.
What we love about Fudgy is that H picked up on him immediately – we bought the Counting With Fudgy book last year at The Baby Show which has helped H a lot with her overall counting skills. The pictures are all photographs taken and put together by Sarah – we love that Fudgy as a character meets real things and animals – it all helps with learning.
So, off we went to Foyles – where there was a table set out with crayons and a Fudgy picture to colour in – H made herself at home and started scribbling – the opportunity came up for a photo with a big Fudgy, which made her incredibly excited by it all – and she ran over and threw herself at the poor bear. Little did I know this was a sign of things to come.
Very soon we were sitting in a circle and being read two of Fudgy’s books by Sarah, the kids were all loving it, the older ones calling out when Sarah asked them questions – the books work really well across all ages (and are targeted towards pre-school children).
THEN the big surprise – the huge great big Fudgy made an appearance. Cue several toddlers faces lighting up with pure delight – as Sarah read from the books again. Now, H is quite shy and reserved, and surprised us at Christmas when she went up to Santa like he was an old friend – and yet again she caught me out, the opportunity arose to have a photo with Fudgy, and off she went – never to let go. She really truly would not have let go, I think.
I think it’s fairly safe to say she loves Fudgy…! The picnic finished with all the kids present (or whichever could get close to Fudgy (I apologise for my daughter) having their photo taken with him.
We love that there’s a test in the back of the books to make sure you’ve understood what you’ve read – and writing with my old 1970’s head on, it reminds me of the end of Topsy & Tim books, where you’ll have similar, which is a great way to keep your child interested and keep them coming back to the books.
Read an interview with Sarah from last year – she’s a full-time lawyer and does Fudgy in her spare time!
Child psychologist Dr. Amanda Gummer is a big fan of Fudgy. She explains: “Reading the books with the bear helps children to engage with the character in the stories, fostering empathy and adding a sensory dimension to the visual and auditory activity of reading a book. Learning is more effective when a child feels calm and secure. If parents spend time reading, whilst the child cuddles the toy, the child will associate Fudgy with positive feelings of security, calmness, love and happiness. Cuddling Fudgy can recreate those feelings and help a child cope with challenges they face.”
You can buy Fudgy Bear and his books direct from the Fudgy site, or indeed from Waterstones or Foyles (plus some stores have the bears in stock too).
In addition to this, the Fudgy Bear Nursery Partnershiplaunches on April 1st 2012, getting Fudgy books into your local nursery! (I’ve already let H’s nursery know, and hopefully things will progress)
Oh, and last but not least, over to the right are some comments from Fudgy’s new celebrity fans… you might recognise a short person who I can officially confirm is currently asleep and did eventually let Fudgy go….
Thank you to Liz and Katie at Weston Communications for this opportunity, H is STILL talking about it!
We love Innocent Smoothies here, they’re on offer with Ocado at the moment, so when Mr Ocado Man delivered our weekly shop this morning, we were mighty pleased with the special offer Innocent are doing – with every purchase of the Kids Smoothies and Fruit Tubes you get a pack of seeds to grow your own plant!
Given our back yard last year was a mini allotment (well, as allotment as a back yard can be, anyway) with courgettes, potatoes, a sunflower, chillis, beans and more growing, this is something we’re liking the look of – especially as it’s geared towards younger people doing it themselves – even in just an Innocent carton. As H would say, “marbellous!”
So we have four packs of seeds to plant, and many cartons to be drunk. Stay tuned and we’ll post updates on how they’re getting on. For now you can admire H drinking her last smoothie from the previous pack, while admiring her sunflower seeds… let’s hope it’s better than last years (which was a good one, the previous year wasn’t so good, as a fox or squirrel ate it) and we’ll have occasional updates.
The seeds deal runs until April 2012, so you’ve a bit of time.
Have you bought the excellent ‘Toddlers: An Instruction Manual’ by Joanne Mallon yet? Do you really need another reason to buy it? It’s full of useful advice from parents, and isn’t just one perspective on dealing with a toddler; it’s many – and as I’ve said before, we’re already putting some of the suggestions into practice – and coming up with brilliant results. Even moreso, you know you’re not alone!
Joanne has kindly let us have another extract from the book – and we’ve opened comments below – let us know what you think, or come and post on our Facebook Group!
Be a parent, not a pal – why you are not your child’s best friend, and never will be. I really despair when I hear parents referring to their child as their “best friend”. You are not their best friend, nor they yours, and if you honestly think that that’s the case, both of you need to get out more.
Why would a three year old want to be best friends with a 30-something woman? Why would a grown man get his friendship needs from a little kid? Your child needs a parent, not a best friend. They can go to nursery and make plenty of friends. But at home, they need a parent, and they need you for that.
You might think that you stepped into the parent role when you had your baby, but did you really? I think that we only fully step up to the parenting role once our children start challenging that role – when we have to be strong enough to say no to them, and set boundaries.
Many of us find it hard to discipline our children – it smacks too much of being the boring grown up, when we might not feel particularly grown up at any age. Also, this issue can cast a shadow back to our own childhoods, especially if our parents treated us in a way that we didn’t like. Shouting at children and smacking them was much more acceptable to previous generations than it is right now. We have to find new ways of doing things and forge our own path.
So however you choose to do things, you’re doing your child no favours if you choose to be a chum rather than what they need – a parent who can make the hard choices, say no when they need to and always provide a strong foundation of unwavering love. Friends come and go, but family is for life.
From: Toddlers: An Instruction Manual (c) Joanne Mallon 2011
You can buy the paperback here and the Kindle edition here. Thank you Joanne!
While Tinnitus isn’t something that strictly falls under what Mum Friendly is about it is something I live with daily.
The 6th to 12th February 2012 is Tinnitus Awareness Week – and while it’s too late for me, it’s not too late for me to make sure that H grows up knowing that her hearing is something which should be protected and looked after.
I’ve been going to gigs since 1983, and only started using earplugs at gigs in the 2000’s – I know when my problems became permanent, and wish I’d had the common sense to deal with it sooner. Guided By Voices and Seachange played a gig at ULU, the sound was so loud for Seachange that nobody was in the main hall – and you couldn’t even speak in the bar area. It was horribly loud. I know when GbV were on stage was the first time I wore earplugs at a gig. Two days later the ringing started to calm down – again, that should have been a warning sign – but instead I went to Dingwalls and saw Mojave 3 play a gig, standing right down the front with no earplugs in. The ringing hasn’t stopped yet.
From the word go we made sure that H had ear protectors – without trying to be too paranoid about it (my mum, dad and sister have had hearing issues, so there could be something hereditary in there), so parties with a disco would have H with a nice bright yellow pair of Kidproof ear defenders. There’s several brands of these – and they’re not expensive, and definitely worth looking into.
Ultimately, the main way to protect your hearing is to have a sensible outlook from the start. Around 20 years of going to live gigs ruined my hearing because I didn’t pick up on the signs – so any loud events and I’ve got my disposable earplugs (or I just don’t go) – it’s really important to let our kids know they do need to look after their hearing – and there’s cases of people going to one loud gig and having problems – so it doesn’t even have to be a cumulative effect. Some people don’t go to gigs and still have tinnitus, so it’s not unique to one scenario.
The British Tinnitus Association have a Top 10 Tinnitus Tips, which are worth reading through; should you find yourself with this problem then show these to your GP :
1. At any point in time around 10% of the population experience tinnitus – both sexes are equally affected and although tinnitus is more common in the elderly it can occur at any age, including childhood. The perceived sound can have virtually any quality – ringing, whistling and buzzing are common – but more complex sounds can also be described.
2. Most tinnitus is mild – in fact it is relatively rare for it to develop into a chronic problem of life-altering severity. The natural history of tinnitus in most patients is of an acute phase of distress when the problem begins, followed by improvement over time. But for a minority of patients the distress is ongoing and very significant, and they will require specialist support.
3. Tinnitus is more common in people with hearing loss – tinnitus prevalence is greater among people with hearing impairment but the severity of the tinnitus correlates poorly with the degree of hearing loss. It is also quite possible to have tinnitus with a completely normal pure tone audiogram.
4. Tinnitus can be associated with a blocked sensation – for reasons that are not clear tinnitus and sensorineural hearing loss can give rise to a blocked feeling in the ears despite normal middle ear pressure and eardrum mobility. Otoscopy and, if available, tympanometry can exclude Eustachian tube dysfunction. Decongestants and antibiotics are rarely helpful.
5. Giving a negative prognosis is actively harmful – it is all too common to hear that patients have been told nothing can be done about tinnitus. Such negative statements are not only unhelpful but also tend to focus the patient’s attention on their tinnitus and exacerbate the distress. A positive attitude is generally helpful and there are many constructive statements that can be made about tinnitus, such as: most tinnitus lessens or disappears with time; most tinnitus is mild; tinnitus is not a precursor of hearing loss.
6. Enriching the sound environment is helpful – useful sources of sound to reduce the starkness of tinnitus include quiet uneventful music, a fan or a water feature. There are inexpensive devices that produce environmental sounds, and these are particularly useful at bedtime. They can be purchased online from the British Tinnitus Association at www.tinnitus.org.uk or by calling 0114 250 9933.
7. Hearing aids are helpful – straining to listen causes increased central auditory gain and this increased sensitivity can allow tinnitus to emerge or, if already present, to worsen. Correcting any associated hearing loss reduces this central auditory gain and thereby reduces the level of the tinnitus. Hearing aids are useful even if the hearing loss is relatively mild and an aid would not normally be considered. Recent Department of Health guidelines have emphasised the value of audiometry in a tinnitus consultation, and this is the definitive basis for decisions about hearing aid candidacy. If in doubt, refer for an audiological opinion. In our view, all people who describe tinnitus deserve an audiological assessment. Decisions on when to start using a hearing aid and what sort to use are up to the individual patient and audiologist.
8. Underlying pathology is rare, but be vigilant – in many cases tinnitus is due to heightened awareness of spontaneous electrical activity in the auditory system that is normally not perceived. It can however be a symptom of treatable and significant otological pathology, such as a vestibular schwannoma or otosclerosis. One should be especially vigilant if the tinnitus is unilateral, or if it has a pulsatile quality.
9. There is no direct role for drugs – although they can be used to treat associated symptoms such as vertigo, insomnia, anxiety or depression. There is also no conventional or complementary medication that has been shown to have specific tinnitus ameliorating qualities and there is anecdotal suggestion that repeatedly trying unsuccessful therapies worsens tinnitus.
10. Self-help is often effective – the British Tinnitus Association provides excellent information on tinnitus and common sense advice on managing symptoms. It runs a telephone helpline 0800 018 0527 as well as offering advice through its website www.tinnitus.org.uk
With thanks to The Line Of Best Fit for mentioning it in the first place, as I’d never have known.
I’ve wanted to do a feature on back pain for a while now. I’m in no way qualified to write about it from a medical perspective, however, I am qualified as I’m still in pain now, as I’m sure are many mums who have had back trouble.
Last year around August time I had a miscarriage, which started with back pain. A few weeks later my back went – I was unable to walk, to do anything – and was eventually taken to hospital.
I suspect the two issues are linked in some way which I’m not entirely sure how, but late January 2012 I attended an event held by Publicasity and the British Chiropractic Association, which went into issues a lot of mums (and dads) have relating to back pain.
I want to try to cover some of what I learned, and include some useful links so if you find yourself in that position, it might be of some help. All guidance came from Tim Hutchful and Louise Hampton from the BCA.
My first chat was with Tim – he told us how we often don’t pick things up from the floor correctly, putting extra strain on our back – and what we actually should be doing is raising a leg to give us balance. Try dropping a pen on the floor and bending down to get it – it’s not great – but if you try again raising a leg, you’ll find you have better balance.
Everything comes down to posture; to quote Tim “The ideal posture would allow for a plumb line to hang straight through your ear, shoulder, hip, knee and ankle. Try and stand in a relaxed way but gently contracting your abdominal muscles. When sitting, the same is true. The gravity line should pass thorough ear, shoulder and hip.” Did you know that when you’re sitting down, you’re actually using 150% strain on your back? (that is from memory, I need to double-check so am apologising now if it’s wrong!) As for slouching in front of the tv (guilty as charged, with my history, not good), that’s bad. A settee is not a good chair to be sitting in – it’s really bad for your posture. The ideal sitting position is to make sure your body has as much contact as possible with the chair, so it’s kept supported.
We talked about bags. Most mums have their lovely fancy changing bags, and actually they can often be bad for your back – ideally something like a rucksack which spreads the weight across your back is better – the same goes for laptops, and anything you’d carry in this way.
The one that surprised me was the potential for back trouble if you have a badly fitting bra. Most women don’t get correctly fitted and measured (from experience, the one time I did she didn’t measure me, she just kept bringing me bras she thought would fit) – there’s some tell-tale signs you’re wearing the wrong size – the underband rides up (lift your arms – and check if the underwire is still against the body), the shoulder straps dig in (the straps provide 20 percent of support – if the straps dig in then the underband may be too loose), the centre fold is lifting away from the body (possibly too small cup), or the back band is over stretched.
We were shown more practical situations we could all improve on – one was baby carriers – slings aren’t great for your posture (gulp) – try going for the ones which strap baby across you and criss-cross across the back, rather than go over one shoulder. When picking up your baby/toddler, hold them as close as possible to you and your hip, changing sides as often as possible.
How about playing? I had no idea what was going on with my knees, there were weird bits on them, but apparently loads of people get them – fluid on the knee, due to kneeling down playing with your little one. To help combat this and improve the line of posture, try kneeling on a cushion. I suggested sitting cross-legged, and was advised to sit on a cushion while doing this, as it’s an okay posture, as you’re evenly balanced.
When you’re sitting in front of a computer all day, I found that setting a reminder on my computer to check my posture every 15 minutes, and after three (ie 45 minutes) standing up, also helped a lot. I can get quite engrossed in my work… “Your seat should be adjusted so that your feet are flat on the ground, your knees bent, but with a slope from your hips to your knees. You should end up with your hips higher than your knees and your eyes level with the top of the computer screen. You may need to put the screen on a stand or even on a ream of paper to bring it to the right height.”
If you’re using a laptop, it’s worth investing in a separate keyboard and mouse to use when at home to use in a more back friendly manner.
As a knitter, I was told it’s good to sit in a chair which moves – like a rocking chair, as your posture wont be great while doing this, but with you moving around a lot, you’re getting support for the rest of your body – and take lots of breaks! My rocking chair is my feeding chair – and also with feeding make sure you’re giving yourself good support – your arms shouldn’t hold the baby’s weight. Try investing in a ‘V Pillow’ too, for additional support.
Exercise-wise, we were recommended one we’ve done in Pilates classes – the Star Exercise – I’ve linked to an article on eHow which explains it a little better, you essentially keep your back straight (core muscles at work – imagine you’ve a tea-tray on there which you don’t want to spill) and raise alternate arms and legs – our Pilates instructor liked to call it the Superman one (that seems to be another much more difficult one though) – but this works your abs to keep your pelvis stable.
It goes without saying, the one exercise they drum into you at ante-natal classes, the pelvic floor is extremely important. As someone who had a c-section, I’ve heard so many other mums who had one saying “oh I’m okay, I had a c-section, I don’t need to do them” and then have problems – everyone should do them, even dads. I’ve found I’m more likely to do my pelvic floor if I think of something to associate it with – singing nursery rhymes! It helps though, especially with the breathing, as if I’m not doing something I think about it too much.
One suggestion we had as far as overall balance goes was to stand on one foot when we clean our teeth, to help posture again. If we get pretty well-balanced, try doing it with our eyes closed – again, it’s helping the core muscles work and improving overall balance.
I have to say, I found the event really helpful – I got answers to things that other people hadn’t been able to give me. Six months after it all happened to me, I still have minor backache; it’s something I wish I’d done things to help strengthen and improve – everything we were taught was common sense. I met some other bloggers at the event, who all have their own accounts of the day – they’re all worth reading as we all had different issues, so where I’ve waffled, they may have said it in a far more coherent way!
Potty training is going to be January’s theme. But crikey, it’s a huge theme to even think about tackling. It’s one we’re in the middle of at the moment, and (touch wood) is going really well. It’s also one a lot of my friends are doing. There’s so many questions.. how do you know your little one is ready? What do you need? What do you do? How many changes of clothes do you need? Training pants or cold turkey? What’s the right way to do it? What should you avoid? What about when you’re out and about?
That was probably half of the questions in my head when we first started, and as we’re progressing there truly is no right or wrong way, but you’ll get a ton of recommendations along the way and something will work (when your little one is ready, of course). Over at the Mum Friendly Facebook Group we’ve been chatting about it and there’s several different opinions (as there should be!) which are great for ideas.
Realistically with the time I’ve got at the moment I suspect this theme will run into February. We’ve some fabulous giveaways along the way which I’ll get online as soon as I can (hopefully today or tomorrow for the first ones) – everything featured is something I’ve already bought, and I’m sharing things I’ve liked which the companies have been very kind to donate.
We did a flying visit to Guildford just after Christmas – and our first trip out while doing the magical world of toilet training. So you’d think it’d be easy to be out and about and find what you need – but actually, it wasn’t.
Mothercare is still the best place for changing nappies and so on, but when you need a toilet which is big enough for a buggy, as well as you, you get a bit stuck. There’s disabled toilets, but as there were seperate changing facilities, it felt a bit wrong to use them (would you? Comment below, please!)
Eventually, the best place we found for enjoying a coffee and sandwich, as well as good sized toilet facilities was at Pret A Manger – plus they do kid-sized sandwiches too – and they’re half price.
With not being as familiar with the place as we are locally, it was a bit of a struggle – someone suggested Debenhams, but we couldn’t actually find it! (as we know their cafe’s are fab). If anyone has any good Guildford recommendations that aren’t above, do let us know!
If you do have a baby and are there, we can recommend the changing facilities at the Westfield shopping centre – aka The Friary (I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a Westfield when we last went there!) – top floor and they’re lovely.
So, off we went to Foyles – where there was a table set out with crayons and a Fudgy picture to colour in – H made herself at home and started scribbling – the opportunity came up for a photo with a big Fudgy, which made her incredibly excited by it all – and she ran over and threw herself at the poor bear. Little did I know this was a sign of things to come.
!
The seeds deal runs until April 2012, so you’ve a bit of time.
From the word go we made sure that H had ear protectors – without trying to be too paranoid about it (my mum, dad and sister have had hearing issues, so there could be something hereditary in there), so parties with a disco would have H with a nice bright yellow pair of 
